Pink and mint macaron lip balm ♥ Taste yummy too!
Or at least that’s what I believe. But when we grew up, things became complicated. We realize that love isn’t as easy as we believed it to be. It’s not about wanting to be in a relationship just to get attention. It’s not about needing affection from a boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s not about Valentine’s Day that calls for seasonal gestures of love that is done more out of obligation and peer pressure rather than sincere intentions. It’s not about the illicit competition among coupled-up friends trying to outdo each others gifts. It’s not about comparison of boyfriends and girlfriends or the expectations that we have on our significant other on the “logical” things that he or she should do for us.
No. It’s not about us. It’s never about us. It’s always about the other person.
And maybe that’s why it’s a concept that I can’t quite master yet at this point. It’s a concept that seems trite, banal, and overrated, for everyone claims that they love the other person, albeit they don’t know what “love” is or how to define it.
Despite this, as I’ve gotten to learn these past months, romance tends to be the kind of love quickest to fade, while friendship endures so much more. How true it is that you can’t give what you don’t have, or teach what you don’t know. How true it is that real love is friendship: looking after a person’s well-being and happiness while having enough self-worth to know what you deserve.
But someday, I will be ready. Ready to perhaps give love another chance.
This is why I feel relationships are overrated. Because I am a coward - afraid of hurting and being hurt. Because I am afraid of being vulnerable again - to be overly attached and committed to someone. Because I am not capable of love - whether it is to love someone or to even understand love.
And above all, I am selfish. Too selfish and proud to understand how to truly love someone. To sacrifice myself for that someone. To make that person my priority.
As of right now, I don’t know how.
It isn’t just about getting presents or receiving free hugs and kisses. It isn’t just about going on romantic dates or having someone there for you when no one else is. That’s not what a relationship is about. As far as what I know from my relationship, what really holds my boyfriend and me…
Actually, being in a relationship is about love. It’s about loving someone unconditionally. It’s about commitment with the disregard of having any physical displays of affection. It’s about sacrifice between couples. Love is a bond that two people share. Love is not just a romantic feeling. It is selfless and unwavering.
”To me, it’s not only liking what he can give you or provide for you but being able to fully appreciate, value, and respect this person for who he is through thick and thin. ” - Does this not signify love?
Made a potted plant dessert yesterday and gave it to several of my friends. (ノ^∇^)
- leaf - cilantro (for decoration)
- soil - oreo crumbs with green tea ice cream
- worms - sour gummy worms
- heart “flower” - lollipop from best friend :)
Don’t fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend that hugs you.
my best friend still calls me immature and naive. I was so angry at him for that, even though deep down, I knew he was right. I didn’t want to be rebuked and condemned after trying to improve on myself all this time. I wanted to prove to others that I can change and be better. But hearing him say that made me realize that I have so much that I still have to learn.
I don’t want to admit it, but he is the only person who, instead of bringing me down or leaving me alone, ever tries to make me into a better me, even if it means me getting mad at him.
And even though it hurts, I am thankful for that truth. And I am thankful for him.
(I really need to work on that pride thing of mine)
My Molang Milk pencil bag
- Convenient Factor…30mg(70%)
Today’s the first Valentine’s Day that I am not spending it with anyone, and it’s weird in a sense that I don’t feel lonely. I think I’ve gotten so used to being by myself that this special day is just another day for me. It’s different, but it’s interesting to experience it. :)
Like my best friend said, it’s a day to celebrate “you”. I don’t necessarily have to spend it with anyone special. I am already so touched and blessed with all the love from my friends. ♥
Therefore, I spent today doing a mini photoshoot lolols. I can’t stick flowers in my hair even if my life depended on it.
And thank you to my best friend for this lovely surprise. You’re too good to me ♥